


Catra and Adora Review TodTeufelRitter's 2020 albums of the year

by Todteufelritter



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Black Metal, Drinking, Drunk!Adora, F/F, Fluff, Heavy Metal, Humor, Power Metal - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29209752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todteufelritter/pseuds/Todteufelritter
Summary: What it says on the tin.All apologies to John Allison.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 6





	Catra and Adora Review TodTeufelRitter's 2020 albums of the year

Eternal Champion - Ravening Iron

Catra: Well this is the kind of shit you love, Adora. It’s all about swords and slaying shit and barbarians in loin cloths. This is real meathead metal. 

Adora: No, this is awesome Catra. This isn’t like that angry depressing stuff with all the screaming you’re always making me listen to. This makes me want to get my sword and go beat up a space dragon.

C: Or evil cultists of some kind of elder god?

A:I seem to recall literally doing that once. That god’s dead now.

C: You don’t have to look so smug, jeeze. But Adora, what do you think about the album cover?

A:I’m not sure what to think. She’s pretty naked. Which I’m not…

C: ...Opposed to, right? 

A: ...But I don’t think this is really -for- me.

C: Would you prefer a buff chick in only a loin cloth with a sword?

A: Catra, be honest, wouldn’t you?

C: What did I tell you about being smug. Stop looking at me like that. Oh no you don’t…. Annnnyyyyyyway this album is dumb but it also kinda rules.

Mystraas - Castles Conquered and Reclaimed

C: This album is so sick! It’s like, Bathory and Nattens Madrigal and all that medieval shit and it is so fucking black metal and I want to burn something down now.

A: Please don’t. Also, I don’t know what any of that means.

C: Hey, I’m good now. I’ll only burn down evil buildings. And you know, Bathory, like the original nordic black metal band? And Nattens Madrigal, the rawest, most furious Ulver album before they became Entrapta’s third favorite band? Anyway this album’s by some kind of...neo-medieval anarchist, whatever that is, and it’s dedicated to the destruction of Empire and Aristocracy. I guess I can get behind that. Suck it, Queen Sparkles! Fuck you Horde Prime!

A: Heheheheh. It’s funny because he’s dead. But like, did Swiftwind start a black metal band?

C: He might have. What do you think, Adora?

A: This sounds like it was recorded in a bathroom. By a very angry man, with a very loud and not very expensive guitar.

C: Black metal! Fuck yes!

Spectral Lore/Mare Cognitum - Wanderers

C: Oh, now this is that weird shit. I guess it’s black metal. But like, the Blut Aus Nord kind where I have no idea what I’m fucking listening to.

A: What is this? Is my brain melting? Is it the alcohol? 

C: There’s some decent riffs in here, though, if you really listen. Still, what the fuck, guys. Anyway it’s about space so maybe Entrapta would like it if it was by Kraftwerk. Be right back, I’m just going to listen to Darkthrone.

Stormkeep - Galdrum

C: This is the shit I love. Badass album cover, evil riffs, some guy screaming about ancient kingdoms or satan or some shit, some mellow acoustic stuff just to give you a break. 10/10.

A: I liked the last song. It was pretty.

C: Welp I guess Adora’s a Dungeon Synth Fan. Dork.

A: What?

C: Nothing.

Neptunian Maximalism - Eons  
C: What. The Fuck. This is insane. Adora, am I going insane?

A: I don’t know, Catra, I’m just drunk. And you’re looking really...

C: Alright, that’s enough, Adora. This is the most bonkers shit I have ever heard. And these liner notes? This is about a future of super intelligent elephants? I don't even know. Please let’s listen to the next album.

Cirith Ungol - Forever Black

C: More meathead shit, let me guess Adora…

A: I love this. Not as much as the other one.

C: Needs more loincloths?

A: Yeah but it does have a sword. 7 out of 10, I'd still slay a dragon listening to this.

High Spirits - Hard to Stop  
C: Alright, we found it, could this be? The perfect Adora album?

A: Album of year! So great. We should drink more and put this on and have sex! Awww, you're blushing.

C: Yeah. Uh. Oh. Focus, Catra. So. I guess this is the ultimate Adora album. Sounds like it was made in 1987, you can sing along to it, and it's all triumphant anthems and power ballads and shit. All it needs is half naked people and weapons.

A: Not quite as good as that...Lunar...darkness?

C: Lunar Shadows

A: Yeah them. Not as good as that album last year. But pretty badass.

C: You just liked putting on 'Roses' and making out.

A: Like you didn't.

Wayfarer - A Romance with Violence.

C: This makes me want to go back to the Crimson Wastes. Man that was such a good time until I ruined it by destroying reality. Uh where was I

A: Album reviews, Catra, not self hatred. Do you need a hug?

C: Right. Yeah this is badass outlaw black metal for the high plains and high dessert and I love it.

Fluisteraars - Bloem  
C: Uplifting black metal is just the weirdest combination of words. And yet, here we are.

A: I would really like it, cept the screaming. 

C: Without the screaming I think this is basically explosions in the sky. But fine I admit it. I dig this.

Paysage D'Hiver - Im Wald  
C: Sometimes I think I get this band, and then I really don't. There are some really solid riffs here, and the production is better than their old shit, but still. This shit is exhausting. If you hear 'Atmospheric Black Metal' and are all like 'hey I like Summoning'...

A: Hey I like Summoning! South Awwwwaaaayyyyyyyy!

C: Okay you are cut off. No more booze for Adora. Anyway, if you expect this to sound like Summoning, you are going to be surprised. Maybe a little disturbed. Maybe just sleepy.

A: This album sounds like snow.

C: Well you heard the drunk chick. Mission accomplished, you basement dwelling Swiss weirdo.

Havukruuna - Uinuos Syömein Sota

C: I feel like this is maybe the album we can agree on? What do you think Adora?

A: This is awesome! For the Honor of Greyskull! 

C: Did you just transform into She Ra so you could start headbanging and waving your sword around?

A: Fuck yeah! This is so badass. I want to go find a dragon and...and... either ride it or kill it. And then I'll sweep you off your feet and…

C: Oh um yeah. I uh, think I know how that sentence ends. Uh...where were we? Oh right. Metal albums, not my very drunk very buff very hot girlfriend making a pass on me. Hah. Yeah. So what do you think of the screaming? Normally you don't like it that much.

A: I'd scream along but I don't speak...what is this language?

C: Finnish! Anyway this album Rips, slays, whatever you want to call it. It's awesome. Some people compare this to Viking-Era Bathory and I guess I hear that but mostly I would compare that to all that mid-90’s Swedish shit that I love. Dissection and Dawn and crap.

A: So are you done?

C: I guess so? That’s the list.

A: What is this other stuff? Not metal?

C: Yeah I guess the author has some other stuff on their best of. 

A: Oh hey Dua Lipa, I love that album!

C: If I kiss you will that stop you from singing ‘Love Again?’


End file.
